[TW rape culture] “We Don’t Want Sex” part 2
So the author of the original article that sparked so much outrage has responded. Here’s what she says:
The main point of my post was to encourage men to curiously and consciously follow a spark through communication. When she is flirting and says “No, I can’t,” sometimes she’s really saying “I can, but you’re going to have to work harder than that for it.” However, in no way did I encourage or do I condone touching a woman without her consent. I am encouraging the men to keep playing and asking questions.
I trust men can handle this responsibility with the information I’m giving and I trust women to speak up for themselves.
[…] So, men, keep being you with your sexual desires as long as there’s no expectation on the outcome and follow the connection despite signs of resistance.
This is not an appropriate response. This author thanks you for your comments, and then proceeds to ignore them, and repeat herself. Also, the heteronormativity of this entire website is practically beating me over the head.
Many people commented on this article and described how anything other than ‘yes’ means no. How repeated attempts to have sex with us (or buy us a drink, whatever) make us uncomfortable. This is harassment. This is rape culture.
She has zero understanding of what rape culture means. I’d also like to point out how she ‘trust[s] women to speak for themselves.’ Trusting women to speak for ourselves means hearing our voices when we flat out tell you you’re wrong. It means believing a woman when you try to come on to her and she says she’s tired, she has a boyfriend, she’s busy, etc. That is how you trust women. I find this response incredibly lacking, inappropriate, and every bit as offensive as the first article. Please join me in commenting on it.
