Here’s a PSA: Today, I’m pretty much Grumpy Bear from the Care Bears. I care about your ass. But you’re making me grumpy.
Here are some things:
1. White people, just stop fucking using the n word. I get that you don’t understand. I sympathize to the extent that I recognize it can be frustrating when you don’t understand a situation. But even if you don’t understand, just stop fucking using it. It hurts people. You look like an asshole for hurting people.
2. White people, stop taking pictures in headdresses. I get that you don’t understand this whole cultural appropriation thing and, hey, sure, it’s complicated (it isn’t that complicated) - but if you really want to honor a culture, you will honor their wishes and stop being an asshole by wearing headdresses.
3. White people, stop labeling things “gypsy.” That word does not mean what you think it means - and using it makes you look like an asshole. Once again, please respect the culture you say you want to honor and find a different way to say “whimsical.”
4. Vegans, stop comparing farms to slavery. I know they may feel the same to you in your animal-loving heart of hearts but you are being an asshole by seriously disrespecting the memory of those who lived as slaves and their living descendants. The same goes for the Holocaust. Stop it.
5. White People Again - sorry, though I was done but I’m actually not. Here’s the big thing. When people of color are talking about racism, I get that you want to distance yourself from that. Because you aren’t like that. But when you bust into the conversation to try to make people be all “white people except for this specific list of names”, you actually ARE being like that. You know you aren’t like that and other people will also see you aren’t like that without you having to tell anyone.
6. Dudes - and, let’s be honest, I really mean straight white cis middle class dudes for the most part - the odds of you making a funny rape joke (a la Wanda Sykes) are pretty low. Louis CK managed it, but, you know, you aren’t all Louis CK. I hate to say that. But mostly rape jokes make you look like an asshole. They make a lot of people think you are super terrible at being funny. In fact, they make a lot of people think you are a disgusting threat. Stop doing it.
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — A 17-year-old Kentucky girl who defied a court order by tweeting the names of two teenagers who pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting her won’t face a contempt charge.
Jesus fucking Christ.
FYI, their names are Austin Zehnder and Will Frey.
Both (former?) members of the lacrosse team.
i wish there was some way we could support this girl. what a fucking joke.
ETA: if you feel like it, there’s a change.org petition.
Louis C.K., The Daily Show, 7/16/12. (via hulksmashes)
lou i knew you were smart
woah is this for real because if so I am pleased
But then he goes on to say how he can still appreciate a good rape joke and all discussions about this just bring gender into it too much, particularly women arguing about what they feel and men need to just tell them yeah, we listened to your feelings, now shut up. And he prefaced this by saying, “It’s also a fight between comedians and feminists, which are natural enemies. Because stereotypically speaking, feminists can’t take a joke and comedians can’t take criticism. So to one side you say if you can’t take a joke, stay out of the comedy clubs.” CK deserves no pass.
Reblogged for commentary. I actually think this was the worst possible way he could have handled it. First, he didn’t take any responsibility for supporting Tosh in the first place, then he insinuated that the root of all of this was feminists not having a sense of humor (though he was careful to balance it out with (much milder) criticisms of comedians- that they can’t take criticism). Then, when some people in the crowd booed his comment about feminists not having a sense of humor, he pulled the “See?” card- because objecting to what he was saying is apparently the same thing as not having a sense of humor.
THEN he goes on to say “So I’ve learned all about the rape culture this week, and I didn’t know before” BUT he then says “And it still doesn’t matter, and women are just getting all over emotional, as women do, and dudes you should humor them a bit and then tell them to shut the fuck up.”
Then he finished with a joke about killing jews, to show “Hey, I’m being offensive! It’s what comedians do! What, you can’t laugh at me being offensive?”
It was really, really gross. It was also a really pathetic attempt to appease his more progressive fans while still not alienating any jerks by actually taking a position. He did not once, not once, criticize anything Daniel Tosh said or did here or act like maybe there was a legitimate reason to criticize it.
Reblogging for additional commentary. It really did come off as, “Yeah I learned a little bit about rape culture that I didn’t know before but I don’t actually give a damn about it. Joking about rape pays our bills so shut up.” I don’t understand how someone could watch this interview and JUST take away the above quote. That just seems really disingenuous to the interview as a whole.
TW FOR RAPE, RACISM, PHOBIAS ET ALL, AUSTIN ISN’T FUCKING AROUND.
This is something that I’ve talked about before, but the mass realization that Daniel Tosh (along with a whopping shitpile of comedians) is a horrible person has made me think about it in a little bit more detail. So:
Rape jokes, racist jokes, trans jokes, sexist jokes, ableist jokes - why we tell them and why we shouldn’t.
First of all, you have to understand that entertainment isn’t free from criticism just because it’s categorized as ‘entertainment’. The ‘get over it, it’s just comedy’ line forgets that systematic oppression requires a system. The system runs from congress to comedy, from federal law to small talk. It’s very important to understand that when I say that I blame the system, I’m not just blaming the government. I’m blaming us.
The ‘funny’ thing here is that it’s really easy to get how making light of oppression is oppressive in the first place. This is basic, simple stuff. ‘You’re not supposed to take this seriously’.
Also, because somebody will inevitably try to derail this, this isn’t to say that Dave Chappelle or Paul Mooney shouldn’t do comedy that deals with racism, or that there’s no place for real social examination in comedy when it comes to oppression. Chappelle and Mooney made racists the joke, not racism. Both Dane Cook and Louis CK did bits that pointed out the existence of rape culture (I can’t speak to whether or not they did so respectfully). Many female comedians point out examples of male privilege and sexism without using those ‘buzz words’. This is not a critique of those who critique systematic oppression, this is about the people who perpetuate it.
Like Daniel Tosh. But I’m not going to single out the demon of the moment and forget about the rest of us. A lot of us, and especially white able-bodied straight cis men, do this.
Rape jokes: SNL recently did a skit that guaranteed that I will never watch that show again. This is the link and it is massively triggering to rape victims so please be careful. Now, this is typically considered a ‘liberal’ and ‘progressive’ show, which might give you an idea of what bearing those words hold in 2012.
This was aired on one of the most popular and long-running shows on public television. This is rape culture, an aspect of it at least. The joke is more important than people. It always seems to be.
Also, rape culture is sexist. There are male rape victims, and they are erased because we’re taught that it’s something we can never admit, that our masculinity rejects it, but many many more women are raped than men. We’re taught that rape is something that happens to women. Don’t try to tell me that rape culture is so prevalent and rape is such a joke but that it has nothing to do with the fact that it mostly happens to women. Under patriarchy, if cis men got pregnant then there’d be an abortion booth on every street corner. If cis men were mostly raped, rape culture wouldn’t exist. But that’s not the case. And so: rape is a joke.
Racist jokes: I just finished up the first season of Wilfred, and there’s a scene where the mother of the character played by Elijah Wood yells ‘INDIAN CHIEF’ and then imitates some sort of battle cry that you might have heard in a 1940s film rendition of Custer’s Last Stand, then she says ‘that was racist, but it was fun’ and Wilfred says ‘how is that racist? Indians do that all the time.’ I’m not sure anything says ‘white privilege’ like voicing your racism though a white man playing a pet dog, the guy who says what we’re all thinking as adorably as possible.
I guess the question is: how do you deal with white guilt? Make racism hilarious. There ya go. Guilt resolved. Moving on. Nevermind that Mexican jokes perpetuate a system that oks white men with AR-15s patrolling our borders (except the Canadian border lol) looking for ‘illegals’ to murder. Nevermind that n word jokes lead to the murders of people like Trayvon Martin and Troy Davis or the imprisonment for self defense of people like CeCe McDonald. Nevermind, moving on.
I won’t bring out examples for all of these, but this is the main point. Jokes like this point out points of privilege. Racist jokes are delivered by people who deny white privilege but need to remind PoC very clearly that we, white people, control your image. We control everything and, even though somehow we don’t gain any privilege from that, we’ll remind you of it as often as we can.
As men, we’ll remind you that we could rape you. We won’t, because we’re such nice guys, but we could. We just need you to remember that. We make rape a joke so that you can appreciate us not raping you (even though a lot of people who make rape jokes, are rape apologists, won’t draw the line at jokes and we all know it). We make rape jokes so that, even if we’ve actually raped a woman, we can remind ourselves that it wasn’t a big deal. It was just rape, it was just a woman (or, let’s be real, moreso just a Black woman, a Native woman, just a ‘corrective’ rape towards a Trans* man who needed to be reminded that he’s not a man, a ‘corrective’ rape towards a lesbian who just needed one good dick, just somebody who doesn’t matter as much as we do, isn’t as much of a person, deserves it).
These things come from points of privilege. They are privileges that we know we have. And we don’t want to give them up. I’m a white, cis-presenting, straight-presenting, able-presenting, male-presenting person in Confederate Central, Virginia. You really think I want to give up my privileges? Even though I do my best to acknowledge them and, in doing so, work for the bettering of the conditions of people who can’t pass like I do, you really think that I wouldn’t have a mental battle if it came down to snapping my fingers and actually leveling the playing field? It’s easy to say that you want everyone to be equal. That’s easy. But the reality is a lot harder and, I’ll tell you right now, I’m not where I need to be.
So, why am I not lumped in with Daniel Tosh? With Sharon Needles? With Alexander Ryking? With fuckyeahtransphobia? With Jarl-Ulfric? With Communismkills? With Charlie Sheen? With Mel Gibson? With every known racist, every known sexist, every known rape apologist, even known ableist, every known trans hater, all of ‘em?
So now I have a joke for y’all.
How easy it is to not make jokes that oppress people?
And you’re the punchline.
And I am too.
A legal system is always inextricably bound up in the beliefs of the culture that created it. Rape culture is alive and well throughout the world, and therefore this damaging set of assumptions gains a degree of credibility as judges believe untruths and the minds of the lawmakers are swaddled in lies. Sweden is no different, and its implementation of “justice” is as likely to engage in rape apologism as any other legal system. It is not a haven of feminism, it is the same as anywhere else.
Anyone who thinks Sweden is a “feminist haven” should read Katarina Wennstam’s books on how rape is viewed and handled in this country. There’s victim blaming, slut shaming - you name it.
365 Ways of Feminism - Day 12
Trigger for Rape Culture
Fuck off, Tosh.
All of us.
People are finally lifting their heads up and paying attention to the bullshit of rape culture. It effects so many people and it’s shocking that the issue is getting mainstream press just now. With all the mainstream press comes ignorant statements declaring “freedom of speech”, where as jokes about rape to do not fall into. I am emotionally exhausted that we still live in a society where we still have to explain this.
Jokes about rape are jokes about people who have been though unthinkably traumatic experiences and are then being told it’s funny. It is a threat. One cannot argue in the favor of threats of sexual abuse and use freedom of speech as a crutch. It is a crutch, an excuse to be a total asshole and dismiss such a serious issue and compare horrid jokes with basic rights. Rape effects SO MANY PEOPLE and it is unthinkably fucked up to dismiss it like some people are doing. Hopefully soon this will get through some people’s heads in light of all this madness and debate.
Keep on fighting…
Sign and share.
Due to continuing threats and comments, this account will no longer be active.
I have spoken to the police about the whole ordeal and all involved have agreed that this was the best action to take.
Edit: I did tell the police the entire story. I turned myself in and understand the possible legal consequences.
For those who don’t know, this woman has been getting these threats because of this post.
I wish there was some way we could give her support. I haaate all the people who are saying “violence isn’t the answer blah blah blah~~~” as if they’ve never ever once in their life wanted to deck someone, no siree, they’re innocent little pacifists and they’re waaaay better than you even though all you were trying to do is protect yourself and other women!!
I will grant that I am generally anti-violence, but there are situations when I think violence is a totally appropriate response. And punching a guy who threatened to rape someone? PRETTY MUCH THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF A TIME WHEN VIOLENCE IS MORE THAN OKAY.
God what makes me angriest about this is like… how many fucking times do you see dudes joking about rape on the internet? When do they EVER get threatened? When do they EVER have to get the police involved because they’re experiencing such intense cyber harassment? But no, GOD FORBID we even THINK about bashing back.
You know, I really fucking wish people got angrier at the douchefucks who threaten rape than they do the people who defend themselves against those douchefucks.
I hope your mother/girlfriend/sister/friends/everyone asks what happened to your nose. I hope you have to explain that you thought it’d be funny to joke with your friend about raping the drunk girl across the street. I bet you didn’t think that the girl who was walking in front of you would turn around and punch you in the face. You’re a filthy piece of shit and I don’t regret this at all.
Let’s fight verbal ignorance with physical violence! That’ll teach’em! Dear Tumblr user “ignitemythoughts”: I’d rather not take your URL’s advice - your thoughts don’t seem very thought out.
So it’s acceptable for someone to make a very pointed joke about rape but not to teach them a lesson for doing so? Maybe next time he will think twice before being so openly threatening and piggish.
Dammit, I knew this non-violence kumbaya bullshit would rear its ugly head on this post.
Hold the phone for a minute.
Imagine if ignitemythoughts were a man. If the rape joke had been about male ignitemythoughts’ girlfriend, this story could have easily circulated as an e-mail forward chain between every red-blooded American and no one would criticize male ignitemythoughts for “protecting his woman.”
Imagine if ignitemythoughts were a man who punched another man for a rape joke about a woman neither of them knew. Even though the joke did not directly affect male ignitemythoughts in this case, he would still been seen as heroic. No one would claim his thoughts “don’t seem very thought out.” (Code for “irrational,” which people just love to throw at women.)
From what I can see, people like tyleroakley will have two major problems with ignitemythoughts’ (brilliant) actions.
1. She is a woman. Assertiveness and initiative-taking are not valued in women as they are in men (see above.)
2. The joke was not about her specifically.
To explain the latter, imagine if ignitemythoughts had punched an asshole for a rape joke that was about her. Would she have been justified then? If this changes your answer from a “no” to a “yes,” think about why that is. Women are expected to be the gatekeepers of our own safety. So if a man suggests raping a woman and she punches him, it’s considered self-defense (therefore much more readily justified.)
If a woman punches a man for suggesting raping another woman, she’s out of line. Why? Because basic human empathy is beyond the ken of these people. No one stops to think that if men are freely discussing raping one woman in their vicinity, no woman in their vicinity is completely safe. You joke about raping one of us, you betray yourself as a danger to all of us. This was not “verbal ignorance.” This is a threat. This IS violence.
But as I said before, women are not expected to take ownership of their circumstances. Women taking initiative is at best considered unusual or out-of-character, and at worst considered wrong. The fact that ignitemythoughts was standing up for herself, and every other woman present, is completely insignificant to people like tyleroakley because it makes them uncomfortable to realize just how much danger women face.
I commend ignitemythoughts, or any woman who stands up to violent misogynistic threats, because my humanity is worth far more than anyone’s sense of comfortable entitlement.